Post Confession

Since my confession, and my return to the Catholic Church,
layers of self delusion have been stripping away from me.
It is as if I stand more fully revealed to myself.

My conscience, so long opiated with feel-good messages,
is being developed again, and it's both liberating and uncomfortable.





Sometimes, even humiliating...truly, I cannot point the finger at anyone
anymore.
Damn it, lol.
Most of all, I want to avoid having to confess anymore sexual sins, I have to admit,
it's a large part of why I'll endeavour to my utmost to never offend again, if I'm honest.
I love
being in this state of grace, truly forgiven :)
it is like a miracle, I wish for everyone to experience it.

I went to Mass on Sunday, and received answers to some of my prayers,
and food for my soul, something else I wish for everyone to experience,
the eucharist.

*****

My date didn't work out, I suspect the reason is...

[I'm embarrassed to admit to it]

I was so intent on treating the 'date' for coffee as a potential friend
[rather than a lover] encounter,
that I forgot to shave my legs
!
I could see him staring at them,
it wasn't till later, that I realized,  at the time, I'd thought maybe he likes my toe-ring, lol  :)

Anyway, my resolution to not have sex until I'm married is going to weed out a lot of men,
seems I've further reduced my chances of finding my man, maybe I'll never have sex again!

[I can't help but pray for a man, though I will sacrifice this too if He wants me to]

Once married, I think it would be no holds barred, lol.

I am at a very satisfied stage of my duties with regard to my daughter Ami, the burden is lifting,
and my heart is full of gratitude for her life so far xxx
and I continue to pray for a cure, which would be an appetite suppressant that works on people
with the Prader-Willi Syndrome.

Don't worry dear Reader, I won't be turning my blog into a long prayer, that is a private and church
communication on the whole, but I did want to make a record of it here, when and if my prayer gets granted...
it's so that you will know, dear Reader,
that my plea has been answered.

Monday calls, more later

XXKK