Ouch, ouch, ouch.
So much waking up to myself
I'm left needing sleep
literally
trying too hard to make amends, to be all that I'm not,
I'm reminded of that famous quote by Paul in his letter to the Corinthians
"If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned,[a] but have not love, I gain nothing."
so this morning I wept at this golden sunrise,
being given another day in which to have faith
and to offer all I am to become more dead to myself so He can live through me
that is the only way I can ever be, anything of value
so counter to how I used to think
striving to be more of myself, a truer version.
So this morning I cried
watching the first rays of promise
for all of us
for how great His love and mercy is
the blindness in me, the disgustings of sin, cloaked in triumph
with satan's grin.
*****
I have a small miracle to report, in my family, it is making my heart smile,
still hours later,
my daughter and I have been weaning her baby, but she is waking every hour at night
and my daughter needs sleep, especially as she is fighting a serious disease,
Graves.
Tonight, I am staying at her home for the night, to support her in training Zali to self-settle to sleep, using the controlled crying method, it was looking to be gruesome on our heart strings, hearing her cry and not going to her...
Only for two minutes at first, and then progressing to fifteen.
We were both a bit anxious, though I was holding much bravado, to keep her confident of success.
(my method was simple, I tried very hard not to think about it)
we fed her up well, her little belly was bursting like Buddha's, and we put a comfy chair in there, where my daughter read Zali a story, then put her into her cot,
she sang 'twinkle, twinkle little star' to her, and went out.
I was praying the Hail Mary, asking for her help, and for it all to go well,
as my daughter was putting Zali to bed.
She came in and we sat down in the next room.
Nothing, no sound.
My daughter's face lit up.
We watched tv, waiting for the crying to start..
Still nothing.
I heard some lame attempting to cry, while my daughter was downstairs telling her partner, then silence again.
We really were amazed, why this night, when we just about to start,would she just suddenly go to sleep by herself?
My daughter said it was a miracle, she had to tell the world :)
so she promptly posted on FB
while I've come here, to tell you dear Reader, if only to say they do happen and you can ask for one, any of you.
The house is asleep now, but we may be in for some crying later, if she wakes up..
doesn't change that this night has really impressed us, and made us glad,
thanks be to my brother Jesus, the Christ :)
XXKK
my current threads on Godlike Productions forum:
Thread Killers:
http://www.godlikeproductions.com/forum1/message1878784/pg466
What gives them the right?
http://www.godlikeproductions.com/forum1/message2344106/pg1
Pope suggests current war-mongering is about selling weapons
http://www.godlikeproductions.com/forum1/message2348636/pg1
URGENT! PLEASE PRAY FOR CHRISTIANS IN MAALOULA, SYRIA
http://www.godlikeproductions.com/forum1/message2347238/pg1
So much waking up to myself
I'm left needing sleep
literally
trying too hard to make amends, to be all that I'm not,
I'm reminded of that famous quote by Paul in his letter to the Corinthians
"If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned,[a] but have not love, I gain nothing."
so this morning I wept at this golden sunrise,
being given another day in which to have faith
and to offer all I am to become more dead to myself so He can live through me
that is the only way I can ever be, anything of value
so counter to how I used to think
striving to be more of myself, a truer version.
So this morning I cried
watching the first rays of promise
for all of us
for how great His love and mercy is
the blindness in me, the disgustings of sin, cloaked in triumph
with satan's grin.
*****
I have a small miracle to report, in my family, it is making my heart smile,
still hours later,
my daughter and I have been weaning her baby, but she is waking every hour at night
and my daughter needs sleep, especially as she is fighting a serious disease,
Graves.
Tonight, I am staying at her home for the night, to support her in training Zali to self-settle to sleep, using the controlled crying method, it was looking to be gruesome on our heart strings, hearing her cry and not going to her...
Only for two minutes at first, and then progressing to fifteen.
We were both a bit anxious, though I was holding much bravado, to keep her confident of success.
(my method was simple, I tried very hard not to think about it)
we fed her up well, her little belly was bursting like Buddha's, and we put a comfy chair in there, where my daughter read Zali a story, then put her into her cot,
she sang 'twinkle, twinkle little star' to her, and went out.
I was praying the Hail Mary, asking for her help, and for it all to go well,
as my daughter was putting Zali to bed.
She came in and we sat down in the next room.
Nothing, no sound.
My daughter's face lit up.
We watched tv, waiting for the crying to start..
Still nothing.
I heard some lame attempting to cry, while my daughter was downstairs telling her partner, then silence again.
We really were amazed, why this night, when we just about to start,would she just suddenly go to sleep by herself?
My daughter said it was a miracle, she had to tell the world :)
so she promptly posted on FB
while I've come here, to tell you dear Reader, if only to say they do happen and you can ask for one, any of you.
The house is asleep now, but we may be in for some crying later, if she wakes up..
doesn't change that this night has really impressed us, and made us glad,
thanks be to my brother Jesus, the Christ :)
XXKK
my current threads on Godlike Productions forum:
Thread Killers:
http://www.godlikeproductions.com/forum1/message1878784/pg466
What gives them the right?
http://www.godlikeproductions.com/forum1/message2344106/pg1
Pope suggests current war-mongering is about selling weapons
http://www.godlikeproductions.com/forum1/message2348636/pg1
URGENT! PLEASE PRAY FOR CHRISTIANS IN MAALOULA, SYRIA
http://www.godlikeproductions.com/forum1/message2347238/pg1
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